Kickstart Change--What Confidence Is Not


  • A feeling:  Confident people can feel fear, anxiety, anger, loneliness sometimes.  That's normal.

  • A personality trait:  You can be confident and introverted or not very confident and extroverted

  • Arrogance or narcissism:  Confident people tend not to be self-centered.  They're good to themselves, yes, but they are also good to others.

  • Confidence is not about always knowing the answer or what to do in any given situation:  Just because you're confident doesn't mean you never get lost in an unfamiliar area or make other types of mistakes.

  • Confidence isn't about getting approval from everybody:  It's about approving of yourself.  For example, say you are speaking at an event and nobody's listening to you.  You're okay.  You know your material, you're passionate about your subject.  You're having fun; animated.  You don't care that no one's listening.  You came there to speak and you are speaking.  Here's another example:  You're at a party and you're not the center of attention.  That suits you just fine.  You are comfortable within yourself to have fun, enjoy the ambiance, the food, the music.  You talk to a few people, people watch.  You don't have to be the center of attention to have a good time.

  • Confidence isn't a belief in your ability:  You can be confident you are bad as well as good at something.  That's not true confidence.  Believing you're good at something is competence not confidence.  Although, as I say regarding what confidence is in another video, improving competence can lead to confidence in that particular area or skill.

So, which of these descriptions of what confidence is NOT surprised you?  Complete the worksheet linked below this video. Feel free to share your answers with me at, if you like, or for those with access to the Facebook group, you can share your responses there as well.  I look forward to reading your answers.  If you have any questions, just let me know.  Enjoy.